Physics was too abstract. Biology a bore. Chemistry I actually didn’t get. And geology wasn’t popular enough to be taught at my school. I do remember carving up a horse’s eye and sticking bits of it under the microscope though. The stench in the lab was amazing. The slippery eyeball indeed a sucker. That’s my memory of science in high school. Of course there was also Mr Tobe, the science teacher, who managed to collect bits of saliva in the corners of his mouth when he spoke. The saliva was of a chunky variety with bits of stringiness that stuck to the upper and lower lip for gross effect. It’s the saliva that should have been collected and placed on the glass plate thingies and examined under the microscope. It was always a topic of conversation and fascination amongst us all. Come to think of it Mr Tobe looked EXACTLY like Tobias in Arrested Development.
For some reason this week’s topic microscope has made me think of gore and how I cannot handle it at all. I spend most of a Game of Thrones episode hiding behind my hands. When we were holidaying in Albania a couple of years back and visited a market, I couldn’t handle the raw meat smell and the draped pig skin and intestines hanging out of sloppy buckets. I dry wretched instead. But do you know what makes me wince the most? The human eye. When you pull down the skin to reveal the red bit. I shudder at the sight. And kids who used to flip their eyelids inside out were my worst enemies. I rather be punched with full force to my gut than see a flipped eyelid.
When I was ten or so my dad bought me a toy microscope. It was money nicely wasted. It didn’t interest me at all. It stood on my bookshelf in its original packaging gathering dust. He should have had bought me a Babysitters Club book instead. To add to my collection.