Recently I had a disagreement with my parents that took me back to the day when I was still living at home and the parents and kid roles were nicely divided (I did a lot of mouthing off and being up myself claiming I knew everything then and my parents telling me to shove it). Anyway, the football match between Portugal and Poland was about to start in the newly built National Stadium in Warsaw (built for UEFA Euro 2012 purposes). Whiskeys in hand, my parents were positioned on their recliner chairs in front of their a wee-bit-too-massive TV. The argument went like this:
I said (whilst crocheting a scarf, having just put two kids to bed): why are you even watching this? Poland will lose. They’re pathetic. They always lose. They’re not even a real team. Look they’re so shit that half the seats in the bleachers are empty. They’re crap. They’ve been crap ever since I got back to this country. You’re just wasting your evening. There will be no surprises. It will be a crap match…yadda yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, I know everything, listen to me, do as I say, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah…..
Dad: what are you talking about? There are no definites in sport. You know that. Of course there is a chance that they will win.
Me: No there isn’t. They’re crap. They will lose you will see. They don’t even train enough. Plus their coach is rubbish. Just because there are some decent individual players on the field doesn’t mean that they’re a decent team. C’mon it’s the Polish national team for frigg’s sake! They lose to Israel! They’re embarrassing. They’re hopeless. They’re the reason I stopped watching football. Let’s concentrate on other good athletes like Radwanska and Justyna Kowalczyk (world class cross country skier) and yadda yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, I know everything, listen to me, do as I say, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah…..
Mum: Why are you being so pessimistic? We want to support the team. You never know, they might give it their all, it might be a good match.
Me: What are you talking about mum?? You don’t even know what offside is! Why are you even watching this match?! yadda yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, I know everything, listen to me, do as I say, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah…..
Dad: God you’re so aggressive. Do you realise when you carry on like that nobody in their right mind actually wants to be listening to you. Can you finally learn how to talk like a normal person, in a calm way, without being such an annoying know-it-all?
Me: Humph. This is such crap (pick up my crochet needle and storm off to the bedroom where I watch downloaded episodes of Parks and Recreation, thinking God he’s right. I don’t even want to be listening to myself. Need to get back to Krakow. Must stop being a sixteen year old).
I was such a shit to live with at times, back in the day. I swear I’ve changed. A bit.
Portugal v Poland (0:0)