Dream Job Nightmare – by Justyna

12 Feb

I am not as excited about this topic as the other Flingers. This aspect of my life still evokes cringing mechanisms in my gut. Since I am at a stage at the moment of the grass is greener in Australia, I am also in a half-arsed blaming mood of well if I only stayed in Sydney I would have an awesome job. Hmpf. Or the alternative, if only we’d settled in Warsaw instead of Krakow… or, I really should have concentrated on climbing the career ladder instead of going to craft school.

I don’t particularly want to get into the nitty of it all, mainly because it’s boring and self-indulgent whining. I’ll just say this, I am living in a place that does not have the best employment market, a place where employees are still highly disposable and the real aspect of HR is still not fully understood. Getting a good job that pays well, that you’re half happy with where your boss is not an absolute dick, is a rarity for most in this town. The financial question was something I never had to consider much in Sydney. But the stark reality of making decent money is in the foreground for the majority of my friends here in Krakow. Which is a shame, because when you’re in your early thirties, it really should no longer be a prime concern.

But let’s get back to the dream job. If I could turn back time (and my dad was not a semi-pressing migrant wanting ‘the dream life’ for his only child) I would have never done law. Well, I would have done it only for the academic pleasure of it and for the amazing lecturers that stirred my insides with new thoughts and arguments. I.e. I would only have done it for fun. What I really should have done at uni was urban planning. In fact, after finishing law, I should have just gone back to uni and done urban planning as an add on and things would be grand. And I wouldn’t have to do this LLM on EU law that I am doing this very moment, to keep myself attractive for the Polish employers. I would instead be thinking of what new green area to develop in the congested Krakow and where the next scenic yet viable bike path should be created in town.

I have to go now. After wiping Julek’s butt and writing this already late post, my paper on the division of competences between the EU and the Member States awaits. And the ol’ brain just ‘ain’t workin’ like it used to…

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11 Responses to “Dream Job Nightmare – by Justyna”

  1. Mary Gawron February 13, 2012 at 1:25 am #

    Dearest Justyna–
    I thought only us Americans complained about these struggles – under-employment, ridiculous bosses, inept HR staffers, poor salaries and frustrating midnight thoughts that spin as you question all the decisions you have made up until this very moment in time. You try to sleep only to hope that the nightmare goes away and you wake up a happy urban planner, making your mark on the world in a meaningful way. It is not fair–your generation was set up to expect the highest level of possibilities and standards. You also have unbelievable amounts of information available, you are expected to generate more ideas than anyone before you has, and perform at warp speed more than than anyone before you could even imagine–(ask anyone who is 50+), all in the same 24- hour-day and 7-day week that has been around since the beginning of time. You are part of a generation dealing with a promise that cannot always be delivered. The world values the best, the fastest, the most original, the unique, the green alternatives, etc. and yet the pretty parts of all that have to coexist in a dysfunctional world controlled by unimaginative people with bad attitudes. You have amazing abilities and talents: you are brave, a born entrepreneur, a writer, a creative thinker, an intellectual, witty, observant, flexible, a good story-teller, and a wonderful mom with a loving family. These abilities and talents may not convert immediately into a dream job and a good salary but they will play a part in making your life very rich and successful–it already has!
    Love,
    Mary

    • Tabitha February 14, 2012 at 5:55 am #

      What she said.

      • Justyna February 14, 2012 at 11:27 am #

        Thanks Mary. When you put it all in such a neat package, I really should just stop whining and be content. Overall, I guess I am.

      • Beth February 15, 2012 at 10:06 am #

        Yeah, what Mary said. Nicely put Mary!

      • Suzysiu April 29, 2012 at 10:18 am #

        What a comment!

    • mischa February 20, 2012 at 3:14 am #

      and it’s not too late to ditch the LLM and do a masters in urban planning instead! it’d probably be annoying and time-consuming to make the change initially, but if it’s what you really want – do it!
      i’ll tell you what: ditching a PhD after 6 months, along with what I thought was my ambition to become an academic, was the hardest but ultimately the best decision i have ever made.

      • Beth February 20, 2012 at 10:30 am #

        That’s inspiring Mischa! I second that. We feel like we’re getting old (and we are) but we’re still spring chickens in the scheme of things…

      • Justyna February 20, 2012 at 11:02 pm #

        Ah Misch, I wish I was in a position to do that. I wish it was three or four years ago. I wish I wasn’t earning the Polish zloty and paying nearly my entire annual salary for a post-grad course I’m doing in England. I wish I didn’t have three mortgages and I wish most of all, that I had the stamina to endure urban planning in an archaic, Polish university, where I wouldn’t have a desire to set a bomb to the academic system that is in operation here instead. Urban planning. Hmm. Maybe if I ever return to Oz????

      • mischa February 20, 2012 at 11:30 pm #

        very tricky indeed! you’ve probably already explored all the options and i certainly don’t want to make it sound easier than it is, but are there no opportunities to swap your expensive english LLM for an expensive english urban planning course? you’re already spending the money. if your concern is the crap polish uni system, are there any opportunities to do a planning course by correspondence like you’re already doing?

        i just hate the idea of someone as smart and motivated and talented as you are feeling stuck in a career she doesn’t particularly like at the age of 32. surely there must be other options. i imagine the three mortgages are intended to provide future financial security, but could you sell one? maybe that’s a little out there, but maybe it’s a possibility?

        or maybe it’s just a question of divorcing ‘dream’ and ‘job’, as tabitha suggested, and embracing all the wonderful things you do have in you life, as mary says, and i should just get back in my box.

        i hope you’ll take my words in the spirit in which you put the bomb under beth…

  2. Justyna February 22, 2012 at 11:24 am #

    You know what Misch, before you wrote the last reply, I got into bed shuddering at my whino tone. I’m turning into such a Pole. The truth is, it’s not all that bad. And yes law isn’t the greatest decision of my life, but doing the LLM and being stuck in the books again has sort of given me wings. A chance to get out of Slavland via correspondence. It’s also a good feeling not giving too much shit about studies when there are now other things in my life that are more important (like craft AND children AND bike riding). So I’m treating the LLM as a side project that will enhance my prospects in the future but not stressing all that much about it.

    So your bomb has worked. Zapped me out of complaining mode! Thanks.

    • mischa February 22, 2012 at 10:04 pm #

      LLM as a side project. i like the sound of that. everyone’s entitled to a whinge every now and then – don’t be so hard on yourself! – but i’m glad to hear it’s not as bad as it seems, and that, in fact, it’s pretty damn good! lots of love xxx

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