Coffee and Me – by Beth

4 Oct

Coffee and Me, we don’t sit in any tree. I’ve never liked it. I did try to like it for a brief period because I was in a relationship with a coffee fanatic, but it just never stuck. Made me all jittery. Hated the taste. Etc.

My parent’s relationships with coffee is more interesting. My Mum is a coffee addict. If they had Coffee Drinker’s Anonymous she’d go. She’s given up a number of times, but she always ends up going back for the sweet nectar. It’s her heroin.

Dad was never into coffee until a few years ago (in his 60s). I was trying to work out what it was that got him started and I’m almost certain it was free wifi at Gloria Jeans and the like. You have to buy something to get the wifi code and so it began. It was that easy. And now he has a tradition of going for a bike ride with his friend every Sunday and they drink coffee and eat banana bread. Hooked.

11 Reasons I am glad I’m not a coffee drinker. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a coffee drinker. Some of my best friends are coffee drinkers… but

  1. It’s very addictive. My mother is living proof of this.
  2. Rules what addicts do after waking up in the morning. They have to be close to a good source of coffee or else they go all narky and are prepared to roam crankily for miles in order to get their fix.
  3. Bloody expensive habit.
  4. There’s a lot of shite coffee out there.
  5. Can shut down a conversation with coffee wankers pretty fast.
  6. Didn’t have to worry about “cutting down” when I was pregnant. I saw a lot of women struggling to cut down and feeling guilty if they had more than one or going through withdrawals. So much easier.
  7. Makes your breath stink.
  8. Don’t have to worry about the Fair Trade factor (for coffee at least).
  9. Don’t have to learn what all the different coffees are.
  10. Never have any desire to own a coffee machine.
  11. It would keep me up at night.

4 Responses to “Coffee and Me – by Beth”

  1. Tabitha October 4, 2011 at 10:55 am #

    Never a truer word was spoken, Beth! Even when I’m not a slave to my own coffee addiction, I have Nathan’s to contend with. Me telling him that “I think he needs a coffee” goes down about as well as him suggesting I might be hormonal. Which he never does, because he’s much more sensible than me.

  2. kshyva October 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    Beth, Beth, Beth. I can think of a million reasons why coffee is the bomb! And I might just write them down. A coffee battle, yes?

    • bmktaylor October 5, 2011 at 8:43 am #

      Bring it on Justyna! A coffee smack-down!


  1. Beer memories by Beth « Far Flung Four - June 18, 2012

    […] tried to get enthused about beer during this time (much like my failed relationship with coffee). Having decided that beer with lime (cordial) was my ticket, I probably kept it up for a year or […]

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